In this section we emphasise the importance of certain attitudes and personality traits for establishing sound interpersonal relationships. However, it is important to remember that these personality traits can be learned.

Friendliness and courtesy. People want to be treated with friendliness and courtesy. These are crucial factors at the beginning of any interpersonal relationship.

Respect and warmth. This involves the acknowledgement of and appreciation for the other person as a unique being. In order to respect others, one first has to respect oneself.

Honesty and sincerity. When educators are honest and sincere in their behaviour towards colleagues, learners and parents, it lays a foundation for sound interpersonal relationships. If they treat people with tact and respect, they will be trusted, and this will pave the way for good relationships.

Genuineness and spontaneity. Education leaders should not try to pretend to be something they are not, but should reveal their true selves. Genuineness, spontaneity and honesty are conducive to the creation of an open climate in which all those involved feel confident enough to communicate with the education leader.

Consistency. This is important for maintaining sound relationships. When a rule which applies to A does not apply to B, it has a negative effect on the feelings of safety and security of those in the school.

Concreteness. This is the opposite of vagueness and generalisation. It helps to promote understanding between people, because feelings and experiences are formulated clearly. Concreteness helps to focus on problem areas, which speeds up problem solving (Smith, 1989:36-7).

The link between management skills and the establishment of harmonious interpersonal relationships in a school
The application of healthy management principles plays a decisive role in establishing and maintaining harmonious interpersonal relationships.

According to Donaldson (2001:118-19), it is important that teachers have well-developed interpersonal skills to enable them to use their own intuition about learners, and to use their own feelings, ideas and beliefs. They should be able to rely on the non-verbal cues they pick up to understand others better. Gestures, body language and tone of voice will sometimes give them an idea of what is going on in relationships in class, rather than spoken words.

Donaldson further states that to be able to build successful relationships, teachers need to be aware of the issues mentioned above, and use their skills and other ‘intelligences’ to build successful interpersonal relationships.

According to Coleman (in Donaldson, 2001:119), in order to become mature, emotionally intelligent leaders, educators should display the following characteristics:

Knowing their own emotions as they come into play in their interactions at work (self- awareness)
Managing those emotions so they contribute to unified rather than fragmented relationships (appropriate expression)
Motivating themselves (marshalling emotions in the service of the goal)
Recognising emotions in others (empathy)
Facilitating the expression of emotions so they contribute to strong working relationships (social competence; skill in managing emotions in others and with others).

Donaldson argues that if teachers can manage these skills, they will be able to give honest feedback, be consistent, accept diversity and display tolerance. Such a teacher will be able to create a nurturing atmosphere for teamwork and collaboration in class and school.

Kruger and Van Schalkwyk (1997:90-1) mention three types of interpersonal relationships which have an influence on classroom climate:

Educator-learner relationship
Educator-parent relationship
Learner-learner relationship.

Establishing Harmonious Relationships in a School

Key Points for Establishing Harmonious Relationships in a School